I happened to be surfing the web and ran across an article that was worth a read. I was looking here and they were talking about when does the relationship actually become "official"? Back in the day the little boy wrote a note like will you be my girlfriend? Circle YES, NO, or MAYBE. These days it's not so clear-cut. A lot of times people assume that because they've spent a lot of time with the person and they are together most weekends, they are officially in a relationship. Things hit the fan when someone goes out with someone else and now they're cheating when they didn't even know they were in a "relationship".
I personally don't assume we're a couple unless it has been verbalized. Also, I don't bring up the topic of us starting a relationship until the man does. Until that discussion, we are both free agents. I'm of the mind-set that if we're not in a relationship or you're not trying to take it in that direction then you really don't have any room to be questioning me about who else I may be talking to. I notice it's pretty early on that they make that move to become exclusive...lol.
That's what single people do....they date and get to know people until they find that one that makes them want to give up the search. I hate to see women date a man for 6 months or a year who she's not in a relationship with, but yet she's closed herself off to meeting new people. Men are very familiar with the term "keeping your options open". I think women should do the same until they are in an exclusive and committed relationship.
A lot of times the problem comes up when one person starts developing feelings and they assume that the other person is right there with them. For whatever reason they might enjoy their company, but not really want to be in a committed relationship with them. Communication is the name of the game...and that's about all I have to say about that. ~More later.
Throw-back jam
| Your Happy Word is "Bliss" |
 You see the divine in everything. You believe that every moment, person, and creature is unique and special. You are an oasis of calm in this chaotic world. You never lose your head. You can feel totally elated and exuberant from the smallest pleasures. You don't hold back when it comes to ecstasy. |
6 comments:
Yep, your approach is definitely the best way to go. I'm very uncomfortable with ambiguity and think if a man's serious about moving to the next level he will tell/ask you.
Yes, that's the way to go. Just do your thing and be HONEST about it. If you both agree that you've successfully crossed the threshold into a relationship...that should be discussed and not assumed.
Nice one...wish people used this wonderful gift you seem to possess called.......................COMMON SENSE! LOL
I dig your style, your method, your sensible swagga, & the way you roll on this subject. It's both wise & safe. It's also kinda gangsta.
For me, some of the scariest sentences begin w/ the words:
"So, when are we gonna be official and.."
OR... "Will you be my..."
They almost always involve some emotional pressure, some promise that I wasn't ready to make, and eventually those words killed the possibility for me, for us to become a WE.
Yes, there has to be some verbal proclamation both people embarking upon a relationship must agree to that makes it a fact (& not some secret notion in our heads). But they must also BOTH be READY at the SAME time to make that step, or else someone's heart is bound to be broken in the process.
One.
CG....Yep if he's serious he'll make that move towards a relationship.
@ Kween...why thank ya...thank ya very much..lol!!!
@ Moanerplicity...I don't believe in pressuring anybody...he's taking a chance that I'm gonna still be available if he's dragging his feet on the relationship front. You snooze, you lose..lol
cosign with moanerplicity
@ Daij :-)
Post a Comment